BLOODY HELL :|

I sent off the Adoption papers for the first seminar ages ago mid January for the 4th Feb Seminar but I never got an invite in the mail so i just assumed maybe they had pushed the date back. We have just got back from a nice Road trip down South for our 10th wedding anniversary and still no bloody invite or date for the seminar. So I called them........and guess what.......Oh we did send that off and we dont know why you wouldnt have received it......GREAT! So of course that seminar has passed and now we have to wait until the 4th of April....ok so its not that far away but how come EVERYTHING TURNS TO SHIT OR DOESNT GO TO PLAN we we talk babies here....so freaking over it! Is this a sign???? that we are just not suppose to have kids????? who bloody knows....... I do know though im getting sick to death of it all! How much more can we go through...... isnt 10 years enough universe??

Still waiting on an angel donor too, as I said in a earlier post we are just going with whatever comes up first, at the moment looks like we have some to holt with both of them!

PISSED OFF!

Will the pain ever go away :(

Not doing too well at the moment. Feeling so down and out its not funny...making me feel physically ill. My 10 year wedding anni is coming up in 2 weeks and instead of being all excited for our party and little trip away i feel miserable and just reminding me that its been 10 years of trying for 1 baby I dont think I dealt with rach pulling out either and now its all starting to hit me, I put up a wall and now its just crumbling down and the fear and sadness disappointment are all crashing through. Another thing getting me down is my stupid AF ( tmi might apply here) Its just horrible..after my lap last year it was great it went back to normal but now i am flooding all over the place, I cant sit down and then get up to walk without huge clots coming out...i can feel it .... I cant sleep as I have to get up 5 times during the night and its doing my head in. For someone who was told at the age of 25 I was going through menopause i wish it would bloody hurry up and start. Bit of a me post and im sorry about that but sometimes I feel better when i write things out and in this case type My brother put together a little video of my little niece starting school ( 4 Yo kindy)...she looked so cute and made me very teary...I just hope one day soon we get to feel the joy of our little one starting school....just gets so hard at times


I did have another lady who wanted to help us but her husband decided he couldnt get his head around maybe one day if a child was born they could go and find their biological mother...or want to know more about her. I wish she had spoken in depth to her DH before approaching me...hopes being dashed all over again :(

This journey never gets easier :(  On the adoption front we are still waiting for our time for appointment to the 1st seminar...i sent paper work way over 2 weeks ago argh!