Friday, December 30, 2011
Sometimes I feel......
like the loneliest person in the world :( I know im not but days like today it truly feels like it. I cant believe that after nearly 10 years we are no closer of having a baby. Noone really knows just how upset I am and noone really understands the pain i am feeling, it hurts like crazy. Everytime we get close of living the dream it is taken away from us just as quick....how does one manage to keep going...when do you know enough is enough?? My heart aches!
Monday, December 26, 2011
Donor pulls out again :(
I have just received an email from Rach saying she can no longer be our donor. Without going through all the details she has been having issues with her husband and has decided to leave him. She feels she wont be able to go through it all by herself and I can totally understand that, wouldnt expect her too either. How do I feel??? Shattered but what can you do, Im not sure what we are going to do from here :cry: Argh just when things were looking up for B & I ...I just cant believe it. I mad hurt pissed off and i hate the universe for continuously working against me.
Friday, December 23, 2011
2 months down :)
Well another month has quickly gone past leaving only 1 month left of our cooling off period YAY. Rach has told me weaning her little man is going pretty well and we might be able to cycle in FEB but I told her not to rush it all just for me...we all have to be comfortable with everything. She is sure now that this is the best for her and her little man so I will just go with the flow. Starting to get a little excited now woohoo :)
Reply email from CEO
OMG I can say the CEO of the clinic is just as rude accusing me of making up lies just to get out of paying bills....can you believe that. I was so angry. He did admit to his staff making a mistake with my meds and has scraped the bills for that cycle not before telling me though that I was over reacting and that i couldn't possibly of got "sick" from taking too much. I emailed him back to let him know how dare he just dismiss the way i was feeling and that he was just as rude. My husband read the email and said it was a scare tactic to scare me off from suing or something. I wasnt going to have that so again i emailed him to let him know he was way off the mark and that he had turned this into a cant pay bills thing when that wasn't the case. I didnt pay the last bill out of principal because of the bad service we received. Cut a long story short he emailed me back apoligising and has now agreed to met us in person, I mean lets be honest a CEO of a company emailing a client is just a little ridiculous and impersonal...glad he has found the balls now to see me in person. Im still seething at his email but I wont let it get in my way of putting my point of view across. For over $8000 per cycle we deserve nothing but the best from our clinic and nothing less.
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Update on my wonderful donor :)
I usually email call or sms Rach at least once a week but being the crazy season I didnt manage to do that for the last couple of weeks. Once I got a spare moment i did however manage to do so just to see how every one was. She told me that her little man was down to 3 feeds a day and nearly sleeping right through the night yay :) Hearing this has made my doubts I had a few weeks ago go away and I will just wait patiently until everyone on her side is ready. I still thank Rach everyday for giving us yet another chance at parenthood....what an angel :)x
Letter to CEO
On Wednesday I got home from work to find more bills from clinic for the canceled cycle. How the hell can they just send out bills and expect them to be paid when their staff stuffed things up :( Made me so freaking mad, no one calls me to say hey we are very sorry or dont worry about paying those bills as we stuffed you around! No instead i get no phone calls from the head people and bills in the mail.....WELL A BIG SCREW YOU!
So I decided to write an email to the CEO...which is the only way to contact him :|
To CEO of CLINIC ( Have taken away his name and all other names including clinics name from my blog)
I have been meaning to email you in the last 2 weeks and finally have the chance to do so. My partner and I have been with the clinic since 2006 trying for our baby with no success. I have found all the staff up until the big move fantastic. Last year my donor and I cycled in Dec, a total disaster due to the lack of support from new staff, giving us wrong medication, running out of medication and basically just being rude. It was that bad I have actually not paid that bill as I feel why should I when we didn't get top notch assistance. I did try and contact you back then but again staff were very unclear on how I would go about doing this. We decided to take the year off as we were really not that happy with this clinic anymore, its all good that we had new premises, fancy new machines and pretty lights etc etc but what is all of that worth when the service has dropped. I never use to feel like just a number now I do. We pay big dollars and expect to be treated the right way, this journey is hard enough mentally, physically and emotionally without the added stresses of Staff not doing their jobs right. Which brings me to my next complaint.
We found a new donor in July this year (our last donor after the bad treatment was a little bit put off wanting to cycle for us again) and decided we would come back to the clinic, my FS decided that she would track my cycle and then I was to complete a medicated tracking cycle. 1st tracking cycle (Oct) was good but in saying that I got 2 no calls back from the coordinators with my results. I had to call them in the morning to ask what was going on, not good if I was doing a real IVF cycle this could throw everything out of whack...what happened if I needed another blood test in the morning but didn't go due to noone calling me to tell me so?
The next month I started my medicated tracking cycle, I picked up my medications and my instruction form. I started taking my progynova when told but after a few days on it I started feeling sick and had the headache from hell, I called the clininc for them to tell me this was normal and try taking panadol. This was more than a headache and I was just not feeling right so I decided to look at my drug order sheet from FS and compare it with the instruction sheet given to me by 1 of the coordinators to find out that the coordinator had written the wrong dosage, she had doubled it up which is why i was feeling terrible. I must say I was furious and again if this was to happen to me or my wonderful egg donor this could throw our cycle out of whack. Coordinators need to take more care I need to know these things are not going to happen at the expense of our heath and money. It turns out, being on the double dose threw my hormones all over the place and FS cancelled my medicated cycle. I have since received the bills for this cycle and again I dont see why I should pay for this. I didnt get the right instructions, I got sick from taking the wrong dosage and yet these bills are still sent out.
I really would like a meeting with you just so we can talk to this face to face and talk more in depth about this situation . I am writing this email on behalf of everyone attending this clinic, I would hate to think this could happen to any one of them and it really irks me this could happen to new patients cycling for the first time. I know how stressful my first time was and you totally rely on the staff to guide you through it. I have a wonderful donor, she is offering us another chance at parenthood, I would like to think she is in the best hands at clinic and I would expect staff to make sure she was. As I stated before, this journey is hard enough without the mistakes made by some staff. I know it gets busy, i understand that but that does not mean the standards of this clinic should drop and in no circumstances should mistakes be made jeopardising a cycle, this is our life and our money your dealing with.
Looking forward to your response.
Kind Regards
Natalie
I received in email stating this
So I decided to write an email to the CEO...which is the only way to contact him :|
To CEO of CLINIC ( Have taken away his name and all other names including clinics name from my blog)
I have been meaning to email you in the last 2 weeks and finally have the chance to do so. My partner and I have been with the clinic since 2006 trying for our baby with no success. I have found all the staff up until the big move fantastic. Last year my donor and I cycled in Dec, a total disaster due to the lack of support from new staff, giving us wrong medication, running out of medication and basically just being rude. It was that bad I have actually not paid that bill as I feel why should I when we didn't get top notch assistance. I did try and contact you back then but again staff were very unclear on how I would go about doing this. We decided to take the year off as we were really not that happy with this clinic anymore, its all good that we had new premises, fancy new machines and pretty lights etc etc but what is all of that worth when the service has dropped. I never use to feel like just a number now I do. We pay big dollars and expect to be treated the right way, this journey is hard enough mentally, physically and emotionally without the added stresses of Staff not doing their jobs right. Which brings me to my next complaint.
We found a new donor in July this year (our last donor after the bad treatment was a little bit put off wanting to cycle for us again) and decided we would come back to the clinic, my FS decided that she would track my cycle and then I was to complete a medicated tracking cycle. 1st tracking cycle (Oct) was good but in saying that I got 2 no calls back from the coordinators with my results. I had to call them in the morning to ask what was going on, not good if I was doing a real IVF cycle this could throw everything out of whack...what happened if I needed another blood test in the morning but didn't go due to noone calling me to tell me so?
The next month I started my medicated tracking cycle, I picked up my medications and my instruction form. I started taking my progynova when told but after a few days on it I started feeling sick and had the headache from hell, I called the clininc for them to tell me this was normal and try taking panadol. This was more than a headache and I was just not feeling right so I decided to look at my drug order sheet from FS and compare it with the instruction sheet given to me by 1 of the coordinators to find out that the coordinator had written the wrong dosage, she had doubled it up which is why i was feeling terrible. I must say I was furious and again if this was to happen to me or my wonderful egg donor this could throw our cycle out of whack. Coordinators need to take more care I need to know these things are not going to happen at the expense of our heath and money. It turns out, being on the double dose threw my hormones all over the place and FS cancelled my medicated cycle. I have since received the bills for this cycle and again I dont see why I should pay for this. I didnt get the right instructions, I got sick from taking the wrong dosage and yet these bills are still sent out.
I really would like a meeting with you just so we can talk to this face to face and talk more in depth about this situation . I am writing this email on behalf of everyone attending this clinic, I would hate to think this could happen to any one of them and it really irks me this could happen to new patients cycling for the first time. I know how stressful my first time was and you totally rely on the staff to guide you through it. I have a wonderful donor, she is offering us another chance at parenthood, I would like to think she is in the best hands at clinic and I would expect staff to make sure she was. As I stated before, this journey is hard enough without the mistakes made by some staff. I know it gets busy, i understand that but that does not mean the standards of this clinic should drop and in no circumstances should mistakes be made jeopardising a cycle, this is our life and our money your dealing with.
Looking forward to your response.
Kind Regards
Natalie
I received in email stating this
Dear Natalie,
I’m very sorry to hear of these issues that you’ve raised. I will undertake
an investigation of what happened and you will hear back from us as soon as this has been done.
Kind Regards,
Lets just see how much investigating he does because quite frankly im over my clinic!
Monday, December 5, 2011
Cant Shake this bad feeling :(
So the medicated cycle didnt go to plan as I wrote in my last blog...Im hoping they ave found a problem and it can be fixed before we cycle if ever we get to cycle :| which brings me to my next problem.
Rach had told me from the very beginning that she would like to breast feed up until March 2012 when she was going to stop as she was going away on a holiday without the kids for 5 days. I was fine with this as she explained how important it was to her to breast feed her little man as she couldn't for her first child. I was happy with this and in no way did I want to pressure her.I have ran into a bit of a problem now.
I decided that I would look up how long after breast feeding does a woman's cycle return to normal....just wanted a rough estimation when Rach may be ready to cycle and I happened to read a post on a forum that sounded alot like Rach. She spoke about how she would like to breast feed her son until he was 12 months and was it possible to stop breastfeeding for 5 days while she was on holidays then pick it up again when she got back...she was really really wanting to do this. Well I was a little shocked and confused. I still didnt know that it was her I was assuming it was so I decided to message her. I just couldnt let this be as I needed to know what was going on. It turned out that it was in fact her and not to worry she was just thinking out allowed. She had been thinking about it but her husband wanted her to wean before FEB so she was going to start after Christmas. I messaged back that I didnt want to pressure her I just wanted to know if I needed to psych myself up to wait another couple of months. I know this sounds selfish but when someone has told you from the start that we would be able to start in March to think that it could by more like June well this is a very long time.
I havent been able to shake the feeling of doubt..........I know she is really wanting to help me there's no doubting that but Im thinking If I have to wait another 6 months im going to be another year older she is going to be another year older and argh anything can happen.....I know I know people who may be reading this might be saying....HEY WOMAN RELAX SHE IS DOING YOU A FAVOUR and trust me I KNOW that but I also have to protect myself, My husband and I have been through enough pain over these 8 years :|
Seeing people who found their donor after me cycling already just frustrates me...why is it im always the last one on forums to have a baby...i was the first to find a donor but the last to cycle it just frustrating. Cant I just have it easy for a little bit.
If there is anyone out there who is reading this I would like some feedback.........Am i being selfish thinking this way and unreasonable ?
Rach had told me from the very beginning that she would like to breast feed up until March 2012 when she was going to stop as she was going away on a holiday without the kids for 5 days. I was fine with this as she explained how important it was to her to breast feed her little man as she couldn't for her first child. I was happy with this and in no way did I want to pressure her.I have ran into a bit of a problem now.
I decided that I would look up how long after breast feeding does a woman's cycle return to normal....just wanted a rough estimation when Rach may be ready to cycle and I happened to read a post on a forum that sounded alot like Rach. She spoke about how she would like to breast feed her son until he was 12 months and was it possible to stop breastfeeding for 5 days while she was on holidays then pick it up again when she got back...she was really really wanting to do this. Well I was a little shocked and confused. I still didnt know that it was her I was assuming it was so I decided to message her. I just couldnt let this be as I needed to know what was going on. It turned out that it was in fact her and not to worry she was just thinking out allowed. She had been thinking about it but her husband wanted her to wean before FEB so she was going to start after Christmas. I messaged back that I didnt want to pressure her I just wanted to know if I needed to psych myself up to wait another couple of months. I know this sounds selfish but when someone has told you from the start that we would be able to start in March to think that it could by more like June well this is a very long time.
I havent been able to shake the feeling of doubt..........I know she is really wanting to help me there's no doubting that but Im thinking If I have to wait another 6 months im going to be another year older she is going to be another year older and argh anything can happen.....I know I know people who may be reading this might be saying....HEY WOMAN RELAX SHE IS DOING YOU A FAVOUR and trust me I KNOW that but I also have to protect myself, My husband and I have been through enough pain over these 8 years :|
Seeing people who found their donor after me cycling already just frustrates me...why is it im always the last one on forums to have a baby...i was the first to find a donor but the last to cycle it just frustrating. Cant I just have it easy for a little bit.
If there is anyone out there who is reading this I would like some feedback.........Am i being selfish thinking this way and unreasonable ?
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Medicated cycle canned :(
Well FS has decided to can this tracking cycle as my levels are fluctuating far too much. Makes me wonder if this has happened on all my other Donor cycles since they dont do bloods. She is going to go through all my results with a fine tooth comb and see what the hell is going on and work out the best way to go from here. Will hear some time next week ....hopefully before she goes on leave for the school holidays.
x
x
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