Reality smacked me in my face :(

As my title says reality smacked me fair and square in the face this morning as I was in the shower. The reality that I may never become a Mother that I will never make B a Daddy. I thought this fear had passed that we would still be happy without children but the truth is I don't think I will ever be truly happy without them. I look at photos of others with their kiddies and I tear up hoping that 1 day we will have that too.....reality though.... we probably wont. I bawled for an hour while showering looking up to the sky asking why in the hell this isnt working for us.....I get no answers from above I get no answers from my FS or clinic......I am just left in the dark never knowing why. Today is not a good day and im scared :(